Stay Positive. Venting

I know I must stand tall, I know I must always show strength, never show fear. Be brave and speak true. Speak only when spoken to, not judge, think positive, keep an open mind and always be kind. This past few years I have done my best. But yesterday broke me.

WARNING:
Today I am venting, there is no angle, just letting it loose and saying it. There may be language that is offensive, or something. But if you are not interested in reading my vent, you might as well stop here. For those who read on, please realize that I am hurting right now. I am EXTREMELY hurt, alone, scared and angry. If you like to comment please do, I can use some encouragement. But if you want to add to my misery, don’t comment, I am literally at the end of my point of … well, I’m at my end.

I have lived through rape, beatings, molestation, survived abusive relationships, raised a child alone, and never did I feel like I had any support. My father was my only support, now he has been dead for many years. I did it all alone. Really, I’m not kidding. My family did not help, more so they criticized, ignored, and abused me. So when I got old enough I gave them a choice. Here it was.

1) I want a positive relationship. Start to be positive, supportive, and stop abusing me, stop criticizing me and stop being assholes.
Now I am not completely stupid, I know family goes through hard times, but what I want is for them to stop being selfish, to stop putting me down, to stop everything negative. I know family will have arguments, my family… I am a chew toy for them.

2) Be an active roll. No more neglect, no more “pretending” to be the perfect family in public and behind closed doors its a nightmare. No more neglecting me and only saying hi at weddings or funerals. I want an active role. Every month take 10 minutes out of the 720 hours in a month and write me a hello note with something positive, something they want to share with me so we can know each other better. To respond to my stuff, to be a real family. Seriously, 10 minutes to send an email, or a phone call or something and be positive. Try to be a friend.

If they can not do those two things, I want them to know they are off the hook. They don’t need to be in my life at all. Be kind, or go away.

Pretty harsh some may think, but by putting yourself in my shoes, all that abuse I listed, and more not listed, most was from family! Right now I am all but homeless. And still family doesn’t help. I have 6 siblings, and not one of them have offered to help. NOT ONE.

I was adopted, and that seems to have made a problem with some of them. I am not their sibling they feel. Yup, said it they did. So, how is that supposed to make a person feel. They grew up in a family and even though it was a not so good relationship, you find out you are not wanted? Not welcomed? Not a part of something you thought you were? I have read a lot of other adopted posts and notice a pattern. They too get siblings claiming they are not. These siblings are grown adults acting like selfish children. Bad enough to be born and not wanted, but raised in a place you are not wanted, and they let you know it.

Here is a good one, when I did something as a child that may have been bad or maybe it was not bad but needed some addressing, sometimes I would not get beat. Sometimes my dad would talk with me and explain what I did and work through with me. Sometimes. My siblings did not like this. they said, that they got hit, and so will I, so they would beat me. Like wow! My father was trying to change his ways, to learn, to be a better person, and my siblings wanted, desired and craved for me to suffer what they thought I should suffer. Just because they wanted it.

So, back to what I was saying, yesterday about broke me. This past 7 years my daughter and I have had an extremely hard time. Now we have been sleeping in our car. I managed to find a room for us to sleep in, but that is about to be gone. Last month I asked the landlord to verify the rent amount, she flipped out. You see she is renting this place without a contract, so there is nothing written down. So she said that she can’t have a renter who is going to question her. And she texted me to leave in 30 days.

Now in Alberta this is not legal of her to do. So I served my refusal letter and there was nothing more said about it. Yesterday she served me a letter to leave in 60 days because her sister is moving into my room. When I talked to her, I told her that that is not legal again. You must give 90 days notice and the family moving in you must evict the entire home. Plus she already has one bedroom dedicated to her sisters. Plus, there are three bedrooms that are empty, not rented. I told her I would talk to the landlord and tenant act and get back to her.

Then she arranged to have the other tenants in the house to start treating me badly. If they don’t they are gone. So yesterday I had 4 people and the landlords attack me, insult me, mock me, and on top of that speak with racist criticisms. They are all Filipino except one and one highly manipulative Russian who just paced in the other room happily. One of the tenants refused to join in, she sat in the other room and refused to be a part of it. She later told me that they are wrong and she wants to support me. But with 6 people attacking me and my daughter, it was just too much.

I lost my family that I tried to get to be a family, no church, lost my father who was my only support, lost our home, our cat died, lost my job. My church actually told me that they would let me sleep in their parking lot, that was their support. And now in the winter, I am dealing with this. My daughter is numb now, she feels nothing she said. My daughter closed out the world because of all the hurt. I injured my spine and am in constant pain and because I can stand, the disability funds are refused, so we have no money, just what is last left from being laid off. There is nothing in me left to fight.

Holy fuck! What am I supposed to do? I have looked every single day for work, I try to just let it all run off my shoulders but right now, a fucking pistol is looking fucking better than standing out in that freezing snow. I can’t sleep, I have electric pain piercing my body all the time, I can’t eat, I try to eat something and there is no taste. So why bother eating it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRTRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG FFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK.

What am I supposed to do? I just wanted to get it off my chest. Just, yell it out that I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m tired, really tired. It takes all I have to get out of bed, sometimes I if I managed to get a couple winks, it feels like it is all dream, none of this is really happening. I mean if you went into more detail you could make a movie on it, because it all doesn’t seem like it would really happen, but oh no, it IS happening to us.

 

 

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Give your food a bath?

In my squirrely soap blog I do a little short story writing and poetry, it is all about soaps and crafts and I sell some at the farmers market but I decided to expand my writing and tie all the blogs together. I start all the stories or poetry with “IMAGINE” you are welcome to go to the squirrely soap blog first story to find out why I start with imagine but right now I wanted to share with more people the stories and see how it goes. So this is how it goes …

Should your food take a bath?

Ha-ha I bet that caught your attention right, giving your food a bath? What? Yes there is a reason to give your food a bath. I wrote all about this in my “Food Of Wisdom” blog and please feel free to read it. I hope it is informative. I was thinking about the article I wrote and I started to laugh at myself as I do quite regularly. I think people around me thing I am a mad person, off my rocker! But picture this if you will, a small claw foot tub with bubbles and a whole bunch of fruit and vegetable taking a bath, how cute? Or strange? But a mental image just makes me chuckle. Is there a story in this? Hum Dee Dum, I ponder and …

Imagine:

Mr. Beet waddles down the dirt path of a mammoth sized field wearing his beautiful green hat. As he reaches the end of the field he spies as far as he can spy and all that he can spy is another field.  Pears to the right and it is a mammoth sized field of vegetable, pears to the left and another mammoth vegetable field. Off yonder it looks like endless low top trees. Just then that flying noise maker passes over, he has another leak. He really needs to look at that Mr. Beet thinks to himself, every time he flies over he’s spraying this nasty tasting liquid all over us. He passes back and forth all over the fields and trees and then is gone again.  Mr. Beet turns his focus back to his surroundings and decides to push forward, I wonder what is out there? He thinks to himself. So he waddles along the dirt path and stops when he sees Mrs. Potato.

“Excuse me” Mr. Beet shyly speaks “Who may you be miss and would you happen to know where I might be?”

Mrs. Potato whips around to face Mr. Beet. She eyes him up and down, she is tall and strong, she is so bold and intimidating that Mr. Beet takes a small step back.

In a strong powerful voice she bellows “Where the heck did you come from? Haven’t seen the like of you in this field and I have traveled this field for many weeks. What the heck are you? You aint one of those weeds are ya? Whatever you’re selling we don’t want it!”

“Well miss, um farmer Jones calls me Mr. Beet so I reckon you can call me Mr. Beet also.” As he stumbles nervously over his words he continues. “I-I-I am not selling anything and well um, uh, well…”

“Spit it out kid, aint got all day ya know.”

“Oh aww, y-yes of course, well I must be a bit of an explorer, ya that’s it, I am an explorer and I am exploring this here fields and those trees over yonder.”

“An explorer hey, don’t know much about that but this here field needs piling so you best be on your way. Nice meetin ya.”

Mr. Beet bid Mrs. Potato farewell and waddled on his way just then Mrs. Potato bellows out to him, “You be careful of those gophers! They’re mean buggers and will take a bite right outta ya!” Mr. Beet nodded politely and waved good bye. The sun was hot, like sun funneled through a magnifying glass piercing down on Mr. Beet. This field seems to go on forever he thought, then he heard in the distance a familiar sound, he stops and listens. Ah yes it is that flying noise machine again, just like always it sprays this bad tasting liquid up and down the rows but this time Mr. Beet drank up all he could, he was so hot he absorbed as much as possible, not really refreshing but will keep me going on my journey he thought to himself. He started to walk again and he almost bumped into the largest gopher he had ever seen, I mean he was huge!

“You work out? What’s your name?” Mr. Beet said trying to break the ice.

In that sexy deep, rather manly voice the gopher spoke. “Folks round here call me MR. Gopher!” “Whaaat yo doing waaay over heeere? This aint chor field, you don’t belooong here.” He drawled out. “Go back where ya came from little red! Go on now, run back home!”

As the gopher leaned in towards Mr. Beet he felt frightened, so frightened he almost pooped out a little beet.

“No.” quietly Mr. Beet said.

“Did yo say somethin? I thought I heard a peep comin outta yo mouth?” The gophers stepped closer to Mr. Beet, almost stepping right on him, gopher bumped beet with his chest. “Wha’s da matter? Carrot got your tongue? You so chatty, wa-ch ya gonna do?” Mr. Gopher glared right into Mr. Beets eyes.

Every part of Mr. Beet was shaking, his beautiful green hat look like a hoola dancer on a dashboard of a car. More gophers were walking out from the potato tops and he was surrounded. The lump in his throat would not go down it just sat there getting bigger and bigger making it hard to breath. The voice in his head kept yelling at him “shut up and run, shut up and run ya fool, run now! Right now, RUN!” But Mr. Beet was an explorer and he wanted to see the fields and the low top trees. He had to be brave, maybe even stupid if he was to succeed.

“I – I – I s-s-said n-n-no Mr. G-G-Gopher.” Stuttered Mr. Beet. “Oooooh now you gone and done it!” The voice inside Mr. Beets head exclaimed, “That’s it, were dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Ya fool you gone and killed us off, in our prime too!”

“Ha-ha!” all the gopher started to laugh, Mr. Gopher laughed so hard he was kicking on the ground, they sounded like a bunch of hyenas. Mr. Beet saw his chance, a space opened up between the gophers and he bolted. He waddled like he had never waddled before, it is not easy for a beet to run, tiny little legs and a tail is not helpful at all. Now that he bolted his beautiful green hat had a high stem that caught on ever leaf and now there was flowers on his green hat. “Oh what will become of me he thought?” These are strange greens, these are not potato tops, these are far more bushy and taller. Mr. Beet tucked in under a bunch and watched closely as he felt the thunder of the gophers running passed. Mr. Beet held his breath until he could no longer hear them.

“Ahh” Mr. Beet let out a sigh of relief.

“WHOO EEE! That was some staaaampeeeede. Ha-Ha son you see that?” he slapped Mr. Beet on the back.

“I mean you no harm, I come in peace.” Mr. Beet cautiously said.

“What, I come in peace, Ha-ha you sure do talk funny red. I spose you want help with that there flower on your top, alright come on then, kneel down I caint reach that far.”

Mr. Beet cautiously knelt down and a stem of flowers fell to the grown beside him. He felt lighter, younger, not so old and stiff like a piece of wood.

“Thank you sir, I thought I was a goner with those gophers after me, how can I ever thank you?”

“Ya just did, and don’t call me Sir my dad’s name was sir just call me Kale!”

Mr. Beet felt like he just made a friend, he was so excited to talk to someone. Since leaving home it was rather lonely and he missed his family very much. Mr. Beet told Kale all about his home and the fun things they did and all about strange grandpa Beet who had two tails growing outta him. Kale listened and walked with Mr. Beet for a long time, Mr. Beet talked and talked, he even cried a little. The strange flying noise maker sprayed and flew by and Mr. Beet did not even notice it was there he was just so happy to have made a friend that the world seemed like a smaller happier place. Just then they stopped walking and Kale sat down so Mr. Beet sat down and realized he had nothing more to say, he told Kale all about the journey, the gophers and Mrs. Potato and he could not think of anything else to say. It was silent for a few second.

“Boy you sure like to talk don’t ya?” Kale inquired.

“Oh I’m sorry, I guess I did get a little carried away. Tell me about yourself Kale and your family?” asked Mr. Beet

“Alright, look around ya, this is my family, and well we are dinosaur Kale.” Kale stated. “We aint much of the talking kind, but sure glad to have met ya.” Kale shook Mr. Beet’s hand “look here, we are at the end of my field and that there is the orange trees. They are just as chatty and cheerful as you are so you will be in good company. Take care of yourself now.” Kale turned and walked away disappearing into the other bunches and he was gone.

Mr. Beet had not realized it but Kale made sure he made it safely to the end of his field, they walked for days and it felt like only a little while. “Thank you Kale.” Mr. Beet whispered and he turned to the low top trees. It was beautiful, what a sight to see it takes your breath away and brings tears to your eyes to see such beautiful tall, strong trees and these bright orange balls dancing in the branches. Mr. Beet ran out as fast as he could to see them closer.

“Hello, hello, I’m Mr. Beet and I’m from the field far, far away.” He yelled up to the oranges in the trees. He spun around and around looking at them all waving and dancing he got dizzy and fell down.

“Ha-ha!” All the oranges laughed at him after he fell down. “Hello Mr. Beet welcome to Sunny Valley.”

Oranges were very nice and the days passed and Mr. Beet lost all track of how long he had been there. He could talk to so many oranges and he was happy, he never wanted to leave to go back home.

Just then a strange feeling came over him, the air seemed to get dark and heavy, Mr. Beet felt afraid.

“Oh no!” said some oranges. “RUN MR. BEET, RUN TO THE KALE THEY CAN HELP YOU!” The oranges yelled.

Mr. Beet was not going to wait to find out why, he ran as fast as he could but he was in the open, the trees are so far apart and there is no bunches of greens to hide behind. Mr. Beet was is beg trouble and he knew it when he saw Mr. Gopher swoop in front of him.

“Well, well look who we’ve got here boys.” Said Mr. Gopher.

“I don’t want any trouble Mr. Gopher, please – just leave me alone.”

“Not this time little red, you made me look like a fool in fronta ma boys. I don’t like looking like a fool.”

Mr. Gopher and the others walked closer and closer to Mr. Beet. He was surrounded and there was so many more of them. Mr. Beet could see they all had there claws out, this was it he thought, so afraid, so alone, and he started to cry – but he held his head up strong and brave.

“Mr. Gopher. You can shred me, slice and dice me, you can even blend me up but I did what I set out to do. I succeeded in – spite – of — you! You did not stop me, I out smarted you! I made friends and I saw the other end of the fields. I am an explorer! I had a good life and you are nothing but a fur ball, a bully in these fields.

Those were the last brave words Mr. Beet ever said. The green grass is stained with the memory of where Mr. Beet stood his ground. He may have lost this fight but he was not looser, he was brave, strong and he was what legends are made of.

So because as you can see in the story there is in many fields chemicals sprayed on crops of all kinds, fruits and vegetables so we need to wash off these pesticide residues or we are eating these chemicals. Even though those chemicals may make their way into the plant itself we really don’t want more if we can do anything about it right. So yes we need to give our fruit and vegetables a bath. How are we supposed to do this? With water! Water only takes off more residue than those vegetable cleaners in the store. If you want the very best than use salt. 1 part salt to 9 parts water and be sure to rinse off the salt water once you have finished soaking and scrubbing your fruits and vegetables. You can read more about this at Food Of Wisdom.

Have a great and sunny summer

T.C.

Sometimes I think child psychologists don’t have children!

 

Sometimes I think child psychologists don’t have children!

My daughter of age 18 emailed me this article she read, she was shocked at some of the advice and could not believe the advice these people were suggesting to new parents or any parent for that matter. The article is titled 10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids they state that “These everyday phrases may actually do more harm than good.” It was written by Michelle Crouch from Parents Magazine.

My daughter and I have an amazing mother daughter relationship, I have had mothers ask me how we did it and can I give them advice on how to fix their relationship with their daughter. Ha-ha but easier said than done, I worked hard over the years to understand how to do this with my daughter. Mother daughter relationships can be a challenge, my own relationship with my mother is fire and ice, no more like a volcano eruption. It is very hard to have a conversation with my mother as it almost always ends in feeling getting hurt or anger or something of a negative effect and definite boundaries stomped on.  I have tried to build a relationship with her, tried as hard as anyone can and sometimes I have come to the conclusion it is just not possible to have a close loving and embracing relationship so I just try my best to keep the peace and leave when it starts to get bad.  To be honest the main reason for our problems I think is boundaries are not respected, my boundaries are not respected and she stomps right over them like a tank and respecting each other’s boundaries is very important.  Another very important thing for moms is to remember that your job as a mom changes as the child grows up, as a parent we must back off more and more as they grow up so they can be their own person and so you both can have a great relationship. You will always be mom and when she needs you to me motherly she will ask for it and never should we push our motherly smotherlyness on them. So to the article that I read, I tried to keep an open mind but to me it was load of s**t for the most part.

Let’s talk about the 10 things parent.com says we are never to say to our children. In the article it tells you were these ridiculous ideas came from and their reasons so I will not repeat the location again in my post, you are welcome to go to the web post at parent.com and see for yourself.  In the blue ink is the parent.com idea and the green ink is my rebuttal or response idea on the topic.

  1. Great job – It says that you shouldn’t say it when the child masters a skill or they become dependent on the external affirmation instead of self-motivation. I disagree 100%, what is the one thing that encourages people to do better? Hearing they did a good job! What is the one and most effective way to get more out of people? Telling them how they are appreciated or the work they did was wonderful and that you would love to see more of it! If you hold back the praise then the child is more likely to feel they are not good enough, they are more likely to lash out because they never feel that all there hard efforts are passed over and they are less likely to keep trying to please you, themselves and less likely to try to overcome obstacles.
  2. Practice make perfect – It tries to say that if you make mistakes it is because you didn’t try hard enough. Disagree 100%, no place in the words practice makes perfect does it say you made a mistake so you are a failure. It does tell the child that if you want to be good at something you need to work for it, earn it and you will be rewarded for your hard work by becoming good at that thing you practiced. If there ever is that giant leap to “I’m never good enough” and if you are parent with your heart and not image in mind then this leap will not be there you can easily encourage your child to understand that when they first started how did they do? And then look at how they are doing now after trying so hard? Show them that they are improving and with some things in life we just may never become the best at it but are we at our own personal best at it? Practice makes perfect has nothing to do with comparison to anyone else, it is our own personal best!
  3. You’re okay – this one is saying that the child is not really badly hurt and their feelings are irrelevant or dismissed. I disagree 100% again! When you say to a child that’s hurt themselves they are okay or going to be okay it is reassuring them that they are being taken care of and you are in a sense saving them. Reassurance is a powerful tool to help keep a child calm and to put into perspective the situation. As a child the world seems to revolve around them and telling them they are okay and you are there to help them is a big deal, if you coddle a child too much you are giving them no benefit of how to talk to themselves when you are not around. They can care for themselves by telling themselves they are okay and be able to put things into perspective to be able to move forward and passed the injury or hard times in their future. For example, I fell through the ice all alone and managed to climb out myself thankfully. I was freezing, scared and half drowned, I kept telling myself “I’m ok, I just have to get home.” I told myself this over and over again and it gave me strength because I was able to put into perspective my situation and be able to focus on what was needed. If I had never been told “you’re okay” I would have sat right there on the ice and cried and died of hypothermia because I would have been overly coddled and not been taught to put into perspective the situation that I am in and I am ok right now and if I get home I will be able to get help.  
  4. Hurry up – They are saying this adds stress to the child. Oh my goodness do I disagree 100%. Since when is a little stress a bad thing? We actually need a little stress not a lot just a little to stimulate our senses, and saying hurry up is not adding stress it is actually teaching time management and respect for those around you. The world does not stop because you want to doddle, in fact if you doddle you will miss out so really hurry up! It is not right that you tie up the line with your desire to take your time, it slows down others and really it creates bad emotions towards the slow person as the years go on. I personally have troubles keeping an employee that takes there time on the job, if I can have someone who can do the job faster than they get the job and the slow person is let go. So teaching these lessons very early in life is a benefit to the child for years to come.
  5. I’m on a diet – They say keep it to yourself. Ok this one has a point. If you are trying to lose weight you really do not want to pass your negative self-image onto the child, they get that already from every direction in media, school, friends etc. It is true though that an overweight parent you have a higher chance to have overweight children. So as far as “on a diet” should really be a family affair and we are now eating healthy and all of the family learn how to eat healthy and be active together. The key here is together.  If you make activities that you all can play and join in together you teach a healthy lifestyle and you will lose your weight in the same time without causing negative self-image.
  6. We can’t afford that – This says that you are not in control of your finances and scares the child. They said that instead you should say we can’t buy that because we are saving our money for more important things. Ok my daughter lashed out at this one, so disagree 100% here. My daughter cleverly said that if you say what the article wants than you are saying that the child’s needs are not important. True, true, that is what it is saying. We need to teach our children how to manage finances and when you cannot afford something this is a great opportunity for a lesson. Go ahead and say you cannot afford that but also add the lesson and knowledge building of difference between needs vs wants. When my daughter was 4 we started to talk about the difference between needs and wants. Needs are things that keep us alive like healthy foods, the house we live in, basic clothes, light and heat etc. Wants are things we want like junk food, toys, fancy clothes, fancy house, vehicles, junk food, etc. As time goes on you can say we cannot afford that because it is a want and not a needed item and right now money it tight so only needs are what get purchased and wants can be purchased when we save up the money for it. By the time my daughter was 6 she fully understood it and would as me do we have any money for wants today? And I would tell her I can afford up to $5 today or not today sorry maybe next time and she was perfectly okay with that because she too was learning how to manage money without touching money.
  7. Don’t talk to strangers – This says that it is too hard for children to understand this concept. I worked for Kid Safe Canada (has now changed) and taught safety classes to children. It really is not a hard concept if taught properly. Yes don’t talk to strangers but explain what a stranger is. What is a stranger? Anyone you do not know is a stranger, even if they tell you their name they are still a stranger. Teach them the good people to go to for help, they are police officers, firemen and firewoman, teacher, etc. The other thing is to never teach the words or idea stranger danger, this gives the impression of a monster and that is not right. So here it is -the slogan to help keep things simple for children is: Never go with anyone unless parent/guardian gave permission. Most abduction are by people they know or see on the street or a family member. So the child is familiar with them so just saying stranger is not enough. So the rule is this; Never to anywhere with ANYONE unless parent/guardian gave the child permission. The child must phone you to get permission. Have a pass word to know they have permission to go with them even if it is a family member. The child should know before going to school or activity who is picking them up. So again the rule is: NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITH ANYONE UNLESS PARENT/GUARDIAN GAVE PERMISION!
  8. Be careful – This they say is saying that it makes it more likely the child will fall or hurt themselves. Oh come on seriously! I disagree. There are those that if you are being supper hovering of a parent then just back off, really no one like that, no one! And hovering over your child definitely makes them think that everyone everyplace is going to protect them. What a horrible wake up call for your child when they see this is not the case, you just made more problems for them you super hovering parent! But if you see that the child is in potential danger then say be careful of that bar it is getting close to your head! Then go ahead, but again if you are a parent that is pointing out every possible booboo potential just back off, go sit down and let the child get the small booboos as it is a good thing. They learn to be more careful. You hit your thumb with a hammer, that sure smarts don’t it? So the next time you use a hammer you learned something right? Right! You learned to move your thumb! Same with your children. DO NOT HOVER OR SMOTHER YOUR CHILDREN, LET THEM GET THOSE LITTLE BOOBOO’S! You can point out the occasional potential accident or as they leave the house tell them be careful crossing the road! Acceptable absolutely.
  9. No dessert unless you finish your dinner – this one says it diminishes the enjoyment of the meal. You definitely did not listen to Pink Floyd did you? So what! Who does not look forward to the occasional dessert? And eating all that the child put on the plate teaches balance and the importance of the meal over the dessert. If parent plated the meal then it really is not fair as the parent does not know how much the child is hungry or not. Let the child learn to plate the meal and they will learn to plate only what they are going to need and eat.
  10. Let me help – jumping in too soon will cause child to give up too early. This goes back to the super hovering parent I spoke about in #8. If you are hovering then you will be asking to help them all the time and yes this is not good. But if you are seeing the child is struggling you can look at it and ask them would you like a little help? If they say yes then offer a little help, little being the key here. Such as the puzzle in the parent.com example. Say where is it you need help with? Let the child guide you to where they feel they are needing help, then tell them I wonder if that piece will fit can you try that one? If it fits say ok you are on your own again because you helped and now they can try other pieces for themselves. If they need more help let them know you are not going to do it for them but will give advice here and there. They need to try for themselves first. This is great as with my daughter she would try to get me to do things for her. All kids try it, it is human nature to get someone else to it for you. But teaching them the benefit of doing themselves is a far more beneficial.

 

Parenting is not easy, but I would never trade a second of it. I love being a parent and over the years my role as a parent changes and I embrace this change. The changes in my role proves I did my job right, she is ready to spread her wings and see the world in all its glory and misery and be able to tackle it wisely no matter what comes her way. We all want to protect our children or even shelter them but that is not helping prepare them for their future. Our job as parents is not to shelter them but to prepare them, and guide them to be the best them they can be. That is my views, my lessons learned and as always, take what you want and leave the rest.

 

T.C.

Mothers Day

The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother.

– St. Therese of Lisieux

 

Thinking of what to write about for  Mother’s Day is hard for me, I have written and re-written this entry but have had a hard time deciding exactly what I want to say about the wonderful day of Mother’s Day. You see to be honest my mom and I are like fire and ice, we can’t seem to be in the same room longer than a few minutes, but we love each other. I have so many stories that I am thinking about that I would love to share as they are funny, but being a mom myself it started me thinking about what a mom really is, and that is why it is hard to write this post. I think about my mom when I was growing up and what influences she has had on me. What really qualifies you as a certified parent or even the right to say “I’m a parent”? Just giving birth or fertilizing the egg is not making you a parent! I feel the actions taken and the raising of a child is what makes you a parent. My mom and dad opened their home and their hearts to me, an unplanned child that had no place to go but foster care and they adopted me; to give me a chance to have a better life. That is a certified parent!

Thinking back I realize that mother was always there, we may not have talked or even saw each other but I knew she was always there. Mom was a stay home mom and I am grateful for that. I would come home from school and the house would smell of fresh baked bread or cookies or dinner on its way, she was always there. Even if I ran in the front door dropped my school bags said “hi mom” and ran out the back door, “bye mom” and hopefully stole a cookie on the way out. If I fell down and scraped my knee she was there to put on the Band-Aid and tell me I’m alright. She’d show me how to make cookies and let me lick the spoon. Tuck me into bed, get the gum out of my hair, and put an onion on my bee/wasp stings; she was there. Take me to music lessons or tap dance or whatever else I was in she was there. Every time I would be bullied at school even though she did not know what to say, she was there to wipe away my tears.  Every time I missed the bus, she was there to take me to school or bring my lunch I forgot, she was always there.  As I am older and a mom myself I still know she is there, just a phone call away or a short drive if ever I needed her.  A mom’s job is endless, and the sacrifices made as a parent I understand now why as a mom we do all these things, because we love our children so much that it not a sacrifice at all, we are happy to be there for them, we want to be there for them. Taxi driver, cook, seamstress, baker, nurse, nutritionist, spiritual guide, moral guide, story teller, counsellor, educator, caretaker, janitor, maid, are only a small amount of the things a mom does on any given day, let alone her job as a wife on top of that.

We then have only one day a year to show mom that we appreciate all these things and more about her. What would mom like to do on this day? If anything in the world could be given to mom on this day what would a mom want? Awe now that is easy, to be with her family, to see their smiling faces, to hear there laughter and feel their warm hugs. Being a mom is not easy but it’s not that hard either, I mean really! Being around people you love how hard is that? I know my mom will not be here forever, but she will always be there. I mean her lessons, her love, her memory will always be there whenever I need it, I can just stop and remember and she will always be there. The gift of a parent does not end when they die, it continues on through all the people they met and the children they raised, they are always there. Her smile, her warm hugs, her lessons, has always been there and will always be there. Thank you mother for always being there.

I love you mom, thank you for everything, thank you for who you are, and who you helped me to be. Happy Mother’s Day.

T.C.

Write your own eulogy

Writing your own Eulogy

 

One sunny and happy day my daughter tells me “mom, I want you to write your own eulogy.” Just said that straight out, what a shocker, what is she talking about? What? So I responded as any good parent would and said “what the hell are you talking about?” She laughed at me and said, “ya I want you to write your own eulogy, if you write it then I don’t have to when the time comes.” So we talked and yes I am writing my eulogy.

Why write your own eulogy? There are many reasons, you could get in the last word, you could tell people in your own words how much they cared about you and you can share your own story through your eyes. Why not write your own eulogy? If you are a jerk you would probably be telling people off and if that is true there probably will not be anyone at your funeral. Telling a lie about your life or a fairy tale of what you lived would just leave people not liking you, so if you can’t write an honest eulogy I would image letting someone else write it for you, but you could still do that and review the eulogy and have it edited before you die, that might be an option as well.

Is this strange to write your own eulogy? In my research of how to write a eulogy I found that more and more people are writing their own. So this isn’t just a strange thing, I did not even know that this was done to be honest, if I had known earlier my eulogy would definitely be different than what I am planning now. I am older, more mature and hopefully wiser and there are things that I appreciate far greater now than 20 years ago. So with this in mind I would advise to revisit your eulogy ever 5 years or so to make sure it is still relevant and not an extinct purpose. How confused people may be if the situation is no longer relevant or how they may feel if you had some grudge or harbored feelings you really do not anymore. Is there anything I want to tell people? First of all I personally make sure I tell people what I want to say to them in person, that way I can look back and never have any regret of not telling anyone something. I don’t mean telling people off, but tell them I love them, what they did hurt me and work it out with them or parted ways. I never want to have more regrets than I already have, a clean slate sort of speak or no good deed undone. So what is there to say?

Here are some suggestions I recommend to start with this process if you decide to write your eulogy.

  • Jot down some memories of your life, some funny stories, your career path, accomplishments, where you lived, your education, marriage and family, and so on.
  • Now that you have some ideas on paper, it is not in order and it is nowhere near done. Now you can write an outline. Think through your life to this point and picture all you have achieved in these years, the people you loved and your behaviour over the years. Answer these questions to help you create this outline.
  • Where were you born and where did you live? Did you move a lot? Where was your retirement?
  • What kind of life was your youth? Were you a busy kid or focused on a hobby?
  • What hobbies did you have over the years, like what was most enjoyable in each decade for your hobbies of what you did for enjoyment?
  • If retired what did you do during retirement?
  • Did you marry? Have kids and how many? Did you make friends easily or find it hard and did you have many friends? Lots or a few really good ones that meant the most to you?
  • Education? What did you study? Where did you attend? Did you have more than one career in your life? More educational interests?
  • Accomplishments – what awards did you win? Talents you developed? What books did you love to read? Were you ever in a newspaper or on T.V.?
  • What were some funny stories that people would remember you with? Did you have a funny sense of humour or a humour people really did not understand? Did you cook? Could you cook? What memory of cooking would people like to hear about? Such as your most amazing dish or how the smoke alarm always went off when you cooked.
  • Did you have a passion for the outdoors? Hiker, jogger, nature painter, adventurer, bird watcher, camper, a rock climber? Anything that you enjoyed doing outside. Perhaps you liked crafts – what did you enjoy making? Crafts for the home or gifts? Needlework or crochet or maybe sewing?
  • Where did you work? What type of jobs did you have? Do you have a funny story about working at one of those jobs? Did you get injured at any job?
  • Now this one I want you to be completely honest with yourself. What type of friend were you? Were you loyal or a friend of opportunity? Were you honest, ethical, and compassionate? Were you a good listener? If you had family did you love them? Were you patient? Were you a leader? Did you try to help the needy and offer service to others without desire for payment, recognition or thanks in return?
  • What was it about you that people admired? What will people most miss about you? Such as the way you could turn a bad situation into something that can be laughed at and helped others overcome hardship? How good of listener were you?
  • What did you love the most about others, spouse, children, family, friends, and strangers? What was it that you loved about the people around you? Perhaps a favourite restaurant and the waiter who always forgot your drink? Perhaps the sound of your children’s laughter? Your neighbour who always stubbed their toe on the steps? Those little things that made you laugh, the bigger things that made you appreciate them more.

Once this is done you can look at all this information and turn it into a eulogy. There are many types of eulogies but this is a starting point for anyone, once this is done you can tweak it into any type of eulogy you desire people to hear at your funeral. I recommend starting at the beginning, rather a step through your life from birth to death and how you lived each moment. It is similar to a biography without the biography part. A biography covers so much of a lifetime that it can take some time to tell the whole story, if you want to tell your life story write your own biography, your eulogy is not your entire biography but rather a summary of your life. I would not recommend making people sit through a eulogy that runs for an hour or more but a short one, no more than 30 minutes to 40 minutes is a good amount of a eulogy speech time I would think. So to put things in order I have jotted down some ideas of how to go about doing that as I am doing this for myself. I do not at all think you should follow my steps and nothing else, be creative. Try new designs and ideas and I do recommend running them passed a friend or family member who you feel would be honest. If you are not getting a good support in that sense talk to a librarian or English teacher and ask them to please read it and give some feedback. Allow those to give the feedback as you are the one who is asking, their opinions may not be yours but it lets you know if you are rambling, or if you are not making sense. For example, if you are trying to describe a funny story it can sometimes be hard to explain on paper, you may need to change the story or change how you wrote it as it comes across not how you intended. So be open, and allow for feedback. This is your last word, you want to be clear and understood, or at least I would.

This outline is what I started with but then changed it once I was done and decided that I wanted to write it in first person not third person as this is. This is written so the person that reads it is like they wrote it about you. I wanted to have the person reading it like I was standing up there telling my story in my words.  So like I said, change it up how you would like it to be done, this below is for third person version. Feel free to search the internet for examples of eulogies there are a lot of them, some are quite poetic.

  • Beginning –birth (parents, date of birth, town or city, etc) through childhood. Be brief you do not want to drone this on too long, quickly state your birth and hometown and perhaps one or two funny kid stories. Remember this is not a genealogy, it’s a summary of your life.
  • Education- where and what you studied, your careers, etc. any awards you won in school, or sport and any accomplishments. If religious add your devotion to the religion.
  • Hobbies-interests-adventures-funny story of any of this, memorable story of this. A camp trip that turned into a story.
  • Family and relationships and friendships. A story that describes an example of what you were in life to be a parent, friend, member of the community, etc.
  • About your personality and self – your qualities as a friend, parent, spouse etc.
  • You will be missed- this is the wrap it up section where you tell the part of you that will be most missed about you.

In first person style.

  • Eulogy is written by the deceased… I was born….etc.… and story
  • I attended…. And graduated from… a career in …. changed careers because…. etc.
  • I have ….family and …. children… married to… etc. story that describes my nature….I remember when….
  • I really enjoyed to play…. and always got into trouble because…. I loved to …. etc.
  • I love and appreciated …. I will miss… I loved my life and …. story….
  • Thank you for being a part of my life and …..

 

By Tina Curtis

Planting Seeds in the Garden of Life

 

 Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.

~ Francois de La Tochefoucauld

 

Planting Seeds in the Garden of Life

I love this quote, it gives me courage, helps me to strive to be more than I think I am. When I fail it helps me to not use excuses to stay down or to make myself a victim.  Once people believed the world was flat and because one person decided that it was not and imagined a new world it became true. Once the moon was just this magical object that had massive power now we can actually touch it, even see far beyond the moon all because one person imagined something more. I often imagine that my life is something more meaningful and one day, it will be true because I imagined it. I imaging helping people who cannot help themselves to climb up and hold their heads high, and I hope that this is true or will be. I love this quote because it fills me with hope of a better future and a better life. I believe if you imagine something it can become true, perhaps not always how you expected but still possible. I believe the power of the mind is intense, if you think about it long enough you want it, if you want it long enough you will make it happen. With this intense power of our minds I believe we also need to use caution how we use it.

If you could be anything what would it be? I am sure we have all asked this question of ourselves but how many of us actually take the steps to make that happen? I love to plant a seed, by this I mean plant a seed of thought, inspiration, or even just an idea and watch it grow. Sometimes when I speak with people I see and opportunity to help open the mind to another possible explanation or possibility and I leave a little seed. Sometimes I’m looked at with rather a strangeness or even outright told that they feel my idea is not for them, and I am OK with that 100%. We are not all made to agree but the funny thing is, once that idea or seed has been planted it is interesting how it grows into something more over time.  I will meet that same person who states it is not for them say a year or more later and they have embraced the idea, the concept or suggestion and if fills their life with joy or a greater understanding of another person. To me this is fun, ya not fun like how I love snowboarding but fun to watch a mind grow, or a life improve. This is so fascinating to me by just planting a seed and someone somewhere waters that seed, then another person someplace shines light on that seed and it blooms. With planting seeds we must be careful that we only plant seeds of joy, peace, compassion, love and understanding, because even a seed of hate can grow. I chose to pluck out those bad weeds and only keep my garden of life full of wondrous blooms and attract the most beautiful birds, bees and butterflies.

We are always rushing from one place to another these days, life has taken over us and sometimes it literally seems to control us, we have no choice in what to do but just follow the robots to work and home and again the next day. Eat tasteless food, or have a meal in a cup and round and round we go. I for one lived this merry-go-round and realized that I was on it, not even knowing how I got on, but wanted off and fast I was nauseated with the ride. When you jump off it is a whole new world, filled with wonder, colour, and beautiful sounds and smells. It is a bit alarming as it is new but take a walk, look around, walk slow or fast because it is up to you. Stop beside that bush of roses and bend over and smell it, really smell it, examine the colour the texture and enjoy it. In exploring this new life style I find it invigorating, scary but more invigorating. Now I am ready to explore a little more and soon I will be ready for even more of this freedom, I would love to invite you in as really the sun shines more here.  So if you are thinking what is she talking about? I am simply trying to show you that breaking away from the merry-go-round is not that bad, doing what we are “supposed to do” is not always what makes us happy. I am “supposed to” make x amount of money and have x amount of children and have x amount of vehicles and so on. If you have no idea of what you would want to be that could bring happiness to your life or more meaningfulness to your life then perhaps look at this list.

Help Mother Nature by cleaning up the garbage and recycle/reduce/reuse

Service – help another person today

Take a day off of work and spend it with your family at the pool, or park, or camping

Instead of driving to work take a bike or walk

Stop and help someone with a flat tire

Give your gloves to a homeless person or someone at the bus stop who is freezing cold

Donate your time to a soup kitchen or food bank

These are only a small amount of ideas here but you can see that they are all helping others or the world. By helping others we help ourselves, so if you want a happier life then help another person have a better day, I feel you will have many happy days by one service.  This is free, won’t cost you a dime to help someone, you do not need to give money just some of your time. So if you could be anything what would it be? Is it something that will make you happy or make you money? Either way I would like to see more people re connecting with each other, not connecting online actually face to face connecting. Say hello at a bus stop. Tell someone that you like their hair cut or that is a nice dress where did you get that? This in not always successful as with the more that people are not connected the more overly sensitive they are and quick to anger, but keep trying new ways to make another person smile. Of course be respectful and not creepy when you tell them nice dress, creepy is wrong.  Share some great news with a random stranger, such as sitting at the bus stop and tell them you just got a new job! Or I’m a new Grandma! Connect with the world around you, get off that merry-go-round and enjoy life a little more every day, step by step. So like in the quote nothing is impossible and if we had sufficient will what will you do today to help another person to help you be happier?

Growing up it was always the joke of that old person on the street bench that talked to everyone that passed and seemed to talk to themselves, you know the one. As an adult and in the world that we live now I see that that old person was just trying to connect, perhaps lonely, maybe a little senile but really how horrible would it have been for me to have taken 10 minutes of my life to talk with him? It would not have been a bad thing at all, it would have probably bettered my life if I had, perhaps gave me a little more understanding of another. For that I am ashamed and I do not want any more of that shame of walking passed a lonely person who just wants to re connect with someone. Of course with this world we still need to be careful of those that are dangerously mentally unstable, but for those that are just lonely, say hello, how is your day? Or perhaps you know an older person that could use the sidewalk/driveway shoveled for FREE so do it. It gives you exercise and you feel like you are useful and they feel loved and respected. What will you do today to help another person to help you be happier?

We start with the small steps, nothing big, we never ran before learning to crawl or walk first so take a walk, look around, smell the flowers, watch Mother Nature, do a service. Step by step we can make this a better street, community, town, city and in planting a seed in the garden of a happy life everyone around us will be happy because of you, and in turn you will be happy.

Canadian Education Gets a Failing Grade.

Education breeds confidence. Confidence breeds hope. Hope breeds peace.

~Confucius

 

 Canadian Education Gets a Failing Grade.

Current Education Standards Fails our Children, our Economy and puts our Reputation in the North American school of Dumb and Dumber

 

 

Currently read an article in the Globe and Mail by David Helfand, heading of “Liberal arts is the future of work, so why is Canada pushing ‘job-ready’ skills?” Now this was published May 12 2014 so I am a bit behind in my reading and to blog about this but the matter is still current and still in need of addressing. There are a few points made that I feel he is absolutely correct and a few of my own I’d like to share with you to help make a change as Canada is getting a failing grade in not only elementary and high school but in all post-secondary education. Mr. Helfand references a conference given by The Conference Board of Canada, I could not attend so I will have to take his word for it of what was discussed. Considering he is the President of Quest University I feel I can trust his word on the topic. In the CBOC’s words they describe themselves as “We are dedicated to building a better future for Canadians by making our economy and society more dynamic and competitive.” (About CBOC link here)  I understand then that this is where the powers that be in education can get their information from on the provinces and countries education planning for our current and future students. As always I encourage people to look and see for themselves to find out the truth, not just take mine or any ones word for things. In their education and learning featured products is their list of what is needed in the workforce from you as an employee.  “Employability Skills” It states “The skills you need to enter, stay in, and progress in the world of work—whether you work on your own or as a part of a team. These skills can also be applied and used beyond the workplace in a range of daily activities.” Also read the “Innovation Skills Profile 2.0”, “The skills you need to contribute to an organization’s innovation performance—to produce new and improved strategies, capabilities, products, process, and services”, “Commercialization Skills Profile” “The skills, attitudes, and behaviours you need to bring a new or improved product, process, or service to market and to maximize its value”,  and then you get to take a general aptitude test. “General Innovation Skills Aptitude Test 2.0”

 

All that reading lead me to thinking what is Canada doing about ensuring our youth of now and tomorrow are getting these basic needed skills to earn income and create a better stronger Canada? What can we do as parents and students to make sure we get these basic needed skills? In my search to find the answer to this question I came across this site called CMEC  and they stated, “Canada has 4 universities in the top 100 of the Shanghai World University Rankings (2014).” Wow, that sounds wonderful right? Canada in the top 100 of the world’s best universities!  Oh wait just a second, in the top how many? Ok so let’s see how close to the top we are and who the heck is beating us out? So I go over to the site of Academic Ranking of World Universities 2014 and lets have a look at exactly were Canada stands. Ok well looking at it Canada comes in at #24 in the world rankings at University of Toronto, and that university is #1 in the national ranking. Ok that is not too bad, we are not in #1 of the world so why not? Who beat us and why? Let’s have a look, the USA took top #1 through #4 in the world.  Then U.K. took #5 but then look, the USA took # 6 through #18 (tied for #9 with U.K.) Canada took # 24 and not again until #37 then #67 then #90. I don’t know about you but I would not be bragging that we are in the top 100 with those scores.  The USA is kicking butt, what is wrong with Canada? We are not even in the top 10%, not even the top 20%, if this was my test score in school I would be horrified of my grade, how could I score so low? We are a developed country so why are we so low in the top 100? We can do better than this Canada Education deities! How can we do better you ask? Liberal arts education teaches students to think outside the box and solve tough problems. Our country is pushing out people who are not equipped with the knowledge to boost our economy, if you want a great education you may soon need to study in a far off land. USA has proven to be consistent in the top 18 of the top 20. Now that is a great score! Only beat out by 2. How can that be? We are a great country with lots of opportunities and growth? Well that is exactly the problem, Education deities are more concerned with the short term solution that makes the provinces more money, not the long term profit that can be achieved by attaining a liberal arts education and with this education create more stable, efficient long term employment that is flexible with a changing economy.

What about creating better workers because they love their work? What about creating better quality of life because people love going to work and can balance home life, they are not stressed out from work and create a tense home life and divorce due to the stress of an unhappy work life.  Job satisfaction and passion in our work is not even a thought in those education goals of the provinces education planning decisions. Ever wonder why we don’t have a Plato or Voltaire or Socrates today? That would be because fewer people are learning to think for themselves, they are learning only one skill and not how to think for themselves only to follow orders. I mean really think for themselves, not just think about if you want cow milk or almond milk I am talking about think about where you want your life to be in 10 years and how to achieve that? Think about how your thoughts on the global scale could change the way the world does something or even invent something. How about what are your thoughts on how to make the job you do right now more efficient and be able to show how your thoughts will work in creating a better company? Being able to fill the positions that make money for the province is a narrow minded view of how to fill the need itself. Just forcing individuals to take a trade and not what they truly love is criminal, it sets them up for a life of unfulfilling employment, sure it pays the bills but how happy are you to go to work day in and out in a field you may not have chosen for yourself? The education throughout elementary then on into high school is all geared in one direction, there is not a lot of variety being taught in the school. Someone who would have been an entrepreneur of a multibillion dollar industry is actually being steered to be a plumber or carpenter. What about the person who never realized a passion and love for graphical design because they were steered towards a career as Derrickhands? Job satisfaction must be a factor in the employment field choices for the rest of your life. Studies showed that people will change careers a minimum of 4 times in their lifetime, this tells me that people are not happy with the job they went into, they are not happy with benefits, environment, feeling valued, or even the job itself is unfulfilling to them.

So what is a Liberal arts education and how is this supposed to better my life in all areas? That is easy to explain I feel since a liberal arts education is something we already crave. In history women who were expected to be no more than a house wife were educated in a form of liberal arts, studies history, art, sciences, and more simply to become a better wife and mother. Let’s say you are the husband of that time and you marry a woman with this education you are able to carry on a conversation with someone, a better relationship right there to start, she then is able to better raise intelligent children, she is better able to carry on a professional conversation and poise during business functions and house guests are entertained more easily all because of the education she received. Think of the movie Mona Lisa Smiles, this is a perfect example of the education that these women were given just to be a house wife. This sounds to some rather sexist but really think about it, do you want to come home and have a conversation with a spouse that can only share opinions on the microwave dinner they just ate, or would you like an intellectual conversation that stimulates and invigorates you bringing you closer together as a couple and family? A spouse that can raise your children to be intelligent and not the neighborhood idiots?  So what is a Liberal arts degree? (Click here for the explanation of what is a Liberal Arts Education?)

 

What basic skills are needed in all areas of the work force and future workforce?  They wanted employees prepared for the 21st century knowledge economy in which communication, collaboration, and creativity are the most valuable commodities. Well according to the article by David Helfand the companies are not finding these qualities and I completely understand. I see the kids in school and they really are not showing these skills, heck they are not even showing the desire to pursue secondary education at all, just graduate and make some money. Don’t really care where they work they just want to graduate and make money, some only go to grade 10 or 11 and then go to work not even getting the diploma. Now I do not advocate the need for a diploma, as long as you are getting an education that is post-secondary worthy. Home school in fact has the option to not take the diploma of a provincial plan and that is wonderful if and only if the student is being educated and educated beyond the grade 10 aspects. I feel the provincial guides obviously are lacking, some home schoolers are getting the best education and moving on to post-secondary opportunities.  Liberal arts education was the foundation of home school for many, many years, the family always learned at home then moved on to a career path being educated outside the home as an apprentice or formal post-secondary schools. I removed my daughter from the provincial education system because of the way the education was going, I figured I could do a better job than they could and guess what? I did a better job than them, I have no formal teaching degree or course of any such thing but the will and drive to educate my child to succeed in the future. Her passion for education has grown since turning to home school and a liberal arts education in our home. She has developed a love for books, writing, thinking, imagination and the desire to see what else is out there. If we had not done this switch she would have been like she was, stuck in a system that did nothing with desire, did not even encourage desire in learning. There is no reward for hard work, work hard you pass the course, you work hardly at all and you will pass the course. The no fail rule does not reward hard work and does not teach the consequence that slack work gets you nothing in life. She had to work hard and the harder she worked the more she enjoyed what she was learning, then one day she found a subject that she absolutely fell in love with. She would not have found this in a brick and mortar school since they only teach a limited amount of topics that are geared towards trades.  The brick and mortar school does not allow for a student to expand in a topic that sparks passion and desire, it’s just read the paragraph on the topic and next on to trades! With the liberal education we started at home gave her the lessons from the people of the past, she could into the past to learn about the future and understand the present. Of course home schooling is not for everyone, first off if you want a great home school education it is a lot of hard work, but a liberal arts education is for everyone and will benefit everyone and future companies.  I strongly feel that the liberal arts education should start in grade school and continue on throughout the entire life, and it will, once you start it seems like a passion that you crave to learn more of. Creativity is tossed out the window in brick and mortar schools since art history and art class in general are being cut, the music classes are cut, the drama, dance, and all extra arts classes are cut. Physical education is cut back, the more the school cuts these imagination developing classes the more they hurt the students ability to think and collaborate. Communication you can forget that, the lessons in school teach how to back talk and wine to get your way, not problem solve, no lessons in listening and understanding, this you would learn from people in the past teachings, and the ability to work with other cultures. This is a really big one, working with other cultures is a definite need, the knowledge of the other cultures and belief systems would drastically increase the ability to work effectively not only in a hometown jobs but even an international position. How many high school students can you say will be able to walk into a room filled with foreign people strong in their beliefs, and create a solution to the current issues regarding cultural differences? Communication, collaboration, imagination is vital to the future generations to build a strong, prosperous Canada.

From grade school to high school to college, university, trades schools. The powers that be in the education department have changed the education so much that the youth don’t have a chance. I remember growing up reading book that kids don’t even hear about anymore, who is Plato, Socrates, and what is a Voltaire I am told. These children do not learn the value of hard work, and the system is rather ridiculous with the coddling of hold your hand and no fail rule.  There is no more fail a grade even if you are not trying to succeed you still pass. How do you learn the value of hard work if you are not rewarded for it? There is no real honour system as those who do try very hard are still moved up with those who barely make it and really should have failed that grade! The education I received was a dummied down liberal art education. My older siblings had a better education than I because the education system kept getting messed around even more when I was in elementary school.

 

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

~Nelson Mandela

 

The rest of the world is recognizing the value in a liberal arts education yet again North America is behind. We are supposed to be leaders in the world but we are smucks that bend for the most short term fast money solution, if only our leaders could open their eyes and see that the world is changing and so had they. I will not send my child to a university that is lacking in the education, it has to benefit my daughter for years to come, not just get her a job. The more people educate themselves they will see that the liberal arts education is a better way of being taught and they will be putting their money in schools outside the country to get it. I will gladly pay for her to go to another country for the best liberal arts education but would have loved to be able to have had her stay in our country for this education.  But looking at Canada’s scores it looks like USA or UK is the choice for an education in a school that sees the value in the education itself. I also checked and those top 20 schools have indeed liberal arts opportunities and joints with other schools to help students achieve this goal. Students who are looking for a great education that will serve them years to come, that will help them adapt, that will help them be the best in their field, the go to person for ideas and inspiration then the liberal arts is the avenue to take. Besides in the animated movie Sword in the Stone by Disney, Merlin states many times the importance of education.

Merlin – “now develop your brain, knowledge, wisdom, there’s the real power, higher learning, that’s the thing.”

Merlin – “How do you ever expect to amount to anything without an education I’d like to know?”

Merlin – “Use your head, an education lad”

Author – “what good would that do?”

Merlin – “Get it first and who knows, are you willing to try?”

The New Cinderella Movie

I recently read an article from The Telegraph about the new Cinderella Movie written by Victoria Lambert. (Click here for link to the article.) She states in the headline that she will not allow her daughter to see the new Disney movie, upon reading the article it is revealed the reason is the main actress Lily James is too skinny. In reading the first two paragraphs I was taken back by this ridiculous reason. The first thoughts that came to my mind were, first women are too thin and people complain, then women are too fat and people complain, and then they are too ugly or too pretty or too of just too much of something and people complain! It brings out a fire inside me that makes me feel like no one any were is ever good enough for anything because someone some place is going to complain about it!

I take a deep breath, count to 10 and ask my daughter to come and read this article with me and let me know about her view on it as I am already angered by it. I finished reading it and there is not a single point in the article that gives just reasoning as to why this beautiful actress is too skinny and how it may damage our young children’s minds and views.  If Victoria Lambert does not want to let her daughter go to a  Disney remake movie by all means that is her parenting prerogative. I know as a parent I do not put so much attention on how thin, fat, ugly, pretty anyone is, I look at the content of the movie and I use whatever lessons I can as a parent to let my daughter know that being too thin, too fat, too ugly, too pretty is in the eyes of the beholder. Seriously, there is someone for everyone and when we over analyze each other and everything we miss the big picture all together. That picture here is a young girl loses her father and mother and is abused by her step mother and step sisters, and still there is hope that in the end life will get better, and for Cinderella she finds that prince that sweeps her out of the ashes and into the star light. That is a fantasy I think anyone would want, I encourage fantasies, I encourage imagination and I discourage at any point the analysis of the physical body of whether they are good enough or not by how they look.

My daughter finished reading the article and stated without any influence from myself, “the writer completely over analysis the physical and does not take into account the movie story itself.” I feel that our children are intelligent and can make a decision on there own, and only need guidance not sheltering. I allow my daughter to see the world around her and when there is something that is questionable we talk about it and what lessons can be learned from it. I am not in favour of sheltering our children from things, I am not going to be there all the time and she will face these things once I am gone. If she is not prepared how to deal with such issues then she would succumb to the negative effect of these issues. I for one can’t wait to see the new Cinderella Movie with my daughter.