Mom

A bit ago I was missing my father, a lot. And just wanted to say hello to him, ask him some fatherly advice. Since he died I felt like sending it out into the universe how I miss him. So I thought with Thanks Giving coming up and with the whole idea that we are to give thanks on this day, I thought it only fitting to thank my mom.

It’s no secret that we are like fire and ice, we do not see eye to eye at all. As a parent now  I try to understand her. Why she did and said what she did. I think that mom was sad for a long time, since I was adopted I feel like she resented me. She was all done raising children in her mind and now there is another baby in the house. I see that my mom, I think, may have had some mental troubles as well. She did not do well in crowds, she gets flustered and panicked. She is also up and down in moods so perhaps Bipolar. Either way, I know my mother loved me and I love her in our own strange way.

How wonderful it is to have a mother teach you to make cookies and let you lick the spoon, or even better, the bowl. My favourite memory as a kid was when my mom would make jello, she would make a little extra so I could have a 1/2 cup of warm jello before it cooled into the firm wiggly squares. I loved to drink the jello liquid while it was still hot, I still do and so does my daughter.

I was a very active child, a tom boy by all true meaning. I love that mom would get mad at me every time I came home with another cut, another nail through my foot, another gash and needed stitches. The best was when I came home with most of my flesh torn off most of my entire body from a major wipe out. She would get almost sick with worry that it would leave a scar.

“I don’t know if your nails will grow back in, why can’t you act like a girl? Why can’t you play with dolls? Why do you insist on this wild behaviour? You are not a boy and boys don’t date girls that act like boys.” She would say.

Mother would try many things over the years, I know she would stress out about what to bring to the pot luck dinners, and worry about what the other women are wearing. I know my mom never seemed to fit in with the other ladies. I know she felt a little on the outside no matter how hard she tried to fit in, to be a part of the women in the church.  I felt her pain, her tears of not understanding why they all won’t include her or even be nicer to her. Mom tried very hard. When dad couldn’t work anymore, mom went back to school and became a  nurse. She was in her 50’s. She was always doing her best to do what she could for her community, her family, and her neighbours. I respect her very much for all her hard work.

My mom was still in the 1800’s with the idea of a perfect lady. Some of that I agree with, respecting a woman is a big one. But a woman is not needing to be absolutely dependant on anyone else to be considered a lady. And there starts some of our arguments. I want to trust a man, I want to have a husband. I just can’t settle for any man, even if that means I am single my entire life and die alone. I will not settle for just any man just because he’s a “good church member”. Or just because he is “her choice”. But I love her for worrying about me and telling me to “get a man”.

When I was raising my daughter I looked at my parents for “what not to do” and “what to copy”. I believe that once you are of an adult age, you choose what person you want to be and make those changes. I can’t blame parents for everything that is wrong with me, I am to blame as I have freedom to make changes. As a parent, I tried to give my daughter the good things I loved about my upbringing. Like Sunday dinners my dad would cook dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner, and mom would set the table and burn the toast. Like learning the value of hard work and the willingness to sacrifice yourself to help another person. Lick the cookie batter bowl. Playing games with my daughter. There are so many I can’t list them all, but as the years go by I learn to value what mom did all those years ago and even still. She is trying her best, to be her best parent she can be, best friend, best person she can be.

I love you for that mom, thank you for all you taught me, and thank you for all your love. It’s not easy to be a great parent, never knowing if the choice you made was right or if you picked the wrong battle.

Happy Thanks Giving to my mom and all you parents out there. Thank you for trying everyday to be a better parent and learning from your mistakes.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Naked on the shower floor

This is becoming a TV series, I should film this stuff. If you missed day one’s adventure please click here to read about my waking up with icicles adventure. Today is day two of the horrid storm, Jack is still throwing shards of ice at me. Is there a large dark storm cloud following me around? With the wind and ice shards on the attack I need a plan, I need to go where I can get warm, alas, I must abandon my vessel.

I tried to warm up sitting in the library typing out my recent events yet it does not end. Get this, the outside temperature is 1 Degree Celsius; what does this wise librarian do? Crank up the AC inside the library! I’m not an abominable snow man, I am woman, hear me roar. I assumed they were wise as they are surrounded by all these books, one would think they are all wise, after all wise people read a lot. I assumed wrong, everyone in here is dressed like they live in an igloo since the library has turned into one. I could only stand a few hours of this and decided to change locations. I ask myself, what is a great place to get a workout and get warm at the same time? Recreation centre of course. Sometimes I am impressed with myself, what great advice.

Oh this is going to be so great, I get my old lady swim suit concoction on. I am styling fashionable trunks made of blue beach style boy swim trunks, and for the swim top I have a fantastic pink with multi-coloured floral tankini swim top that covers my chubby tummy. Not matching, not even fitting right, it is at least one size to large. How do I know its too large you may ask? Because when I jump into the pool the top falls off over my head, and I flash all the fishies. When I get out of the pool the bottoms slide right off. I have the string on the shorts tied as far it will go to not startle or give nightmares to small children.

I strut out in my flashy attire and head for the hot tub. Since I decided I am growing out my leg and arm pit hairs I am sure some of the strange looks I am getting is in response to my impending furriness.  No matter, onward.

Oooo, I slide down into the hot tub, at first it feels like tiny little needles all over my body as it melts off the ice shards that are impeded into my flesh. I just took myself from 1 degree to 40 degrees Celsius, that’s a bit of a leap. It’s too hot at this point, I am not warmed up enough yet to handle this. I decide to try the steam room. In the steam room I’m able to control the temperature by adjusting the amount of steam, so I should be good here I suspect. Good, I am alone the controls are mine. I leave the steam off, its  a comfortable warm room. It is working, I am warming up a little. In walks the furriest man I have ever seen. He must be warm these days with all that fluffy fur he has, the ice and cold wind can’t get him. I am in envy, perhaps I could cut some fur off him and glue some on myself? No, that’s just gross. I am not liking him much right now, he has cranked the steam up to its max, in a couple seconds I am feeling needles and now suffocating. How do people breath in these things?

I swam my laps and headed for the showers. The shower room was so nice and warm that I suddenly felt very tired. My daughter took her shower and I decided to lay-down on the floor and rest for a minute. I fell asleep. It was so nice to feel warm, I’m naked on the shower floor on a towel, asleep. Absolutely bizarre, I just wanted to rest since the night was so sleepless, yet I did not expect to actually fall asleep. My daughter woke me after she finished her shower, then we headed home to the camper of ice and darkness. Wind is still trying to capsize my vessel and the cold is still trying to preserve me in ice, but I have a propane stove. I wonder how much propane is left?

 

Woke up with icicles

Winter came in like a raging lion. It was so windy that icicles were forming faster than you can say icicles. In fear of my solar panel flying away I braved the spears and tucked the panel safely under the camper behind the tires. Yet I still had the thirty feet to brave to safety. I flipped up my hat and ran as fast as my chubby little legs would take me. oh I wish I put boots on, slippers are not a wise choice at this point.

“I’ll only be a few seconds,” famous last words as I am now frozen to the ground, its freezing at a nice and easy pace of .6 seconds. My car can reach 100km/h in a cool 2.5 minutes, yet the wind can stick me to the ground faster than I can blink. This is ridiculous, I am now in my stocking feet pulling my slippers off the ground and putting them back on my feet while being pelted by shards of ice that jack frost decided would be fun to throw at me.

What brave adventure would it be if there wasn’t at least one wipe out, oh no, I’ll make it two wipe outs and a bruised tailbone just for extra dramatic affect. I make it up those puny camper steps and threw the hobbit size door to safety. Once inside I discuss at length who’s great idea was it to make such small steps and narrow door, do they not know that people are entering these things?

We fire up the propane stove since we have no electricity, it took an hour to warm up the inside of the camper to 10 degree Celsius. OK, we are warm now. Time for bed, I can’t sleep since our camper is being pelted with spears and the wind is trying very hard to capsize our vessel.

I  managed to get a few hours of sleep under a pile of 10 blankets. I open my frosted eyes and exhale to see a cloud of breath. My daughter and I have breath races, who can make their breath go further. I don’t know who won, a tie I suppose. Time to get dressed and ready for the day. Like taking off a band aid we rip of the pile of blankets and race to get to the compost toilet. After I peeled my frozen but cheeks off the toilet seat I decided that it may be time to get dressed.

OOOOOHHH, I cried as I am now naked and my body is trying grow fur as fast as it can to get warm. I decided I am not shaving this winter, I will grow out what hair I can and help keep my pits and legs warm at least. It is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

So, this is what its like to winter camp in your camper. Well, the beginning of winter at least. I was told it was a three season camper, he lied!