We all hear a great deal of depression these days. What’s the big deal right? We all have stress, we all have a story, we all get sad or frustrated with our boss right? No big deal, just get over it!
Wrong! There is of course people who have never felt the pain and anxiety of depression. I am so glad that you never have had to deal with that pain. For those who do deal with it, I give you a large hug, and take a big deep breath with me.
Take deep breath now.
I have also a story of pain through out my life, and from time to time I talk to a walk in counsellor or, even done a few weeks of care with one. But there have been times when I needed someone better than just a counsellor. I’m not saying counsellors are crap, However, they are trained in only so much, they really don’t know and to be honest, there are some crap ass counsellors. Still going by the very old ideas and follow ridiculous stigmas. You must find a good counsellor. It may take some shopping around, but you must get one that listens, never cuts you off, and never criticizes you. To find a highly trained psychologist or whatever cost money. But if you can do it, it is well worth the help.
Yesterday, I snapped. Yup, lost it completely. Told my boss he was a fucking ass-hole, told him all sorts of stuff on what he can do with his abusive attitude towards me and the train he can take it on. Yup, lost it real good. I am still shaking today. I am beyond exhausted, and I am what you would call, done. Stick that fork in me, I am over done. This is not my normal behaviour, so for me to be so aggressive is a sign I am beyond the need for a therapist.
So this morning in I walk through the emergency mental health doors, I am told after I tell me story, that I need to talk to a family doctor and I need not a therapist, someone with more skill then the emergency mental health clinic.
WHAT? I just spent the last hour telling you what I have endured, you comment how you are surprised how I am still functional and then tell me you can’t help me because you are only a counsellor and not a therapist? What is the emergency clinic for then? Now I have to do research into who I can afford for mental health? The health system is so broken for anyone with any form of mental issue. A person goes to find help but gets turned away because the help they find is “under qualified”.
To anyone out there dealing with depression, anxiety, burn out, PTSD or anything that is burdening you, please do not give up. Keep looking, You see by me story the first step is frustrating, sometimes disappointing. Please keep talking to people until you get the help you need.
I am now looking for a low cost or sliding cost therapists in Calgary that is not a one time visit, since that is what I find a lot of. There is one that is walk in therapists, however they are not one DR per customer so you are dealing with multiple DR’s, this is not a great situation but it might be the only one for now. In a city a large as Calgary AB I would have thought they cared more about the mental health of people here, however they do not by the evidence given.
Good luck to you all, and happy mental health. I will post on some tips to help with depression once I get back on my feet again. I seem to have stumbled, until then, take care of yourself.