Light Bulb Moment -maybe-

As you have read my last few posts show some struggles, ok, some crap I am pushing through. The first day after the abuse I took from the landlords and roommates, I spent the entire day in bed. I only got up to go the bathroom, that was it. I did not eat, not really slept, and the inside turned and I felt like that little girl waiting for her beating in the coal shed, and I had to get the strap myself. Nothing like delivering the weapon that is about to put you in serious pain. So sitting in my room still trying to find a way out of my once again impending homelessness and still scouring the internet for work I had a thought pop into my head.

“To thine own self be true”. Now I don’t want to get all religious on you, anyone who reads my writings knows my faith right now is as strong as a tight wire made of a single strand of human hair. My hair, so fine it would snap if a spider set upon it. There is NO WAY that will hold up to anything. But as I was sitting there day dreaming, as my mind wonders a lot. I thought “what the hell does that mean?” “why on earth did that pop into my head?” Then I realized my mind, subconscious or perhaps a higher power, who the hell knows, figured out what it means for me.

I have suffered crap since the day I was born, from my birth mother trying to kill me to abuse of any and all natures and then homelessness and now what happened a few days ago. There is one thing that made me get through it all. My father. Now that he is gone, my life seems to have taken even a stronger dive. What is the link. My father was able to change his ways and learn from his mistakes and became a really great man. One that I have not met since. But what I noticed about him is that he knew himself. He knew his weaknesses and he worked on them, but most of all he knew what he wanted to become. He knew the type of person he was, is, and always will be. He knew so well that I could lean on him and he helped carry me through stuff by just sitting in the seat beside me.

What do I know of myself? Who am I? What type of person am I? Am I a good mom, bad mom, or a fantastic mom? Am I charitable? A bully? Selfish? What am I really? If I am brutally honest with myself, no over thinking things, just stand outside myself and see myself for who and what I truly am and write it down. Don’t think about what I am writing down at this point, just think of any time I have been a bitch, bully, slut, and compare it to any time I have been charitable to others, been kind, helpful, caring, etc.

I realize that the world is not at all like it was when I was growing up. I remember people helping each other, strangers helping and friends were real true friends not superficial and what do they get out it. But I don’t want the modern selfish society to change what I know in my heart of hearts to be true, to be right, and to be admirable.

I realized that what if all those people in the world contemplating suicide, being abused, and depressed and struggling emotionally, mentally because they are from a different type of values that seems to no longer be in one with the non Christian world. Believe in religion or not, the fact that the world was ruled by the Christian values for many, many years. It has only been since Christianity is being attacked by non Christians and other beliefs that those core values of society have been altered, squashed and abandoned. Those still in the strong Christian moral value system are being under attack. So, even if you don’t believe in religion, do you still carry those core values? Are you kind at heart? Do you actually want to help others? Do you feel emotions so strongly you are empathic? Are you kind? Would you help a stranger just because they needed help? You don’t find humour in the modern idea of “reality TV” and the stupidity stunts and abuse of others? Do you care about the world and animals around you?

Why does this make any sense to me? If you know who you are, if you know without a doubt the person you are, and the person you are trying to become, that ultimate self that you are trying to be. So long as you are not trying to be someone else, but are trying to be who YOU are to be. Then it does not matter what the poo poo nay sayers are saying, who gives a shit what the judgy judgers are saying, and anything that is said about you, that is NOT WHO YOU KNOW YOURSELF TO BE, than you can disregard it. Toss it over the left shoulder into the abyss, and go on with your life. Doing what you know to be true, right, and worthy of you. Searching for like-minded people and leaving the rest in your dust. In the end, if, just if there is a judgement day, you can stand tall, head held high, and you will be successful over “those other people”. If there is not a judgment day and something else is among us after death, you can still stand tall and face whatever it is with those core values you know yourself to be. And you will make it through that too.

I believe we need to feel the pain, feel that hurt thrown on us. Think about it,and process it, but once we have felt it, processed the thought of it, we then can decide if it will continue, or be dismissed.

How do I learn about myself? Do I need to buy a fancy car or get a boob job or take a vacation to “discover” oneself? No. Nope, and No way. I feel we just need to sit down in a quiet place with a pen or pencil and paper or writing book. Then you start to ask yourself questions. Just like a writer asks their own characters who they are, to know them well, that is how you will know yourself well also.

I will post that in the next post how I am trying to work through this. Trying to reconnect with who I am and who I want to be? I don’t mean the house, cars etc, nothing of the world. I am talking deep in your soul, or perhaps you call it your chi, or maybe you call it your “self”. Either way, learn thy self is my new direction and focus.

Please share you thoughts on this, I would love to hear if anyone else has had an epiphany of how to overcome all of life’s challenges and is it working? have you needed to tweek it a little for situations? Does it keep you strong?

 

 

 

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Job Scammers, What The @#$%

This post is a bit longer than normal; I am sorry for that. There is a bit of info to put in here and too little to split into two posts. This advice is only that, my advice. Take what you want, leave what you don’t want.

We now live in a province that is struggling, we struggle for food, maintain a shelter, and find work. Sure, everyone has their sad story, but it’s like we are slowing morphing into the city of Gotham. Where is Batman to stop the evil men in our real world? Praying on the unemployed, desperate and helpless. The law can’t keep up with the technology and scams that are floating around, so are helpless themselves. Ever since the rejection of old-fashioned moral values, enforcement of rules in schools and the common public expectation to be kind in our daily life, then the ease of bringing people closer with technology; our world is becoming more and more of a jungle, filled with dangerous creatures at every turn. I’m talking creatures that want to hurt you and take your money.

I have looked for work for some time now and it has been tough. Rejection is becoming a daily expectation for me. But one thing that surprised me was discovering and stumbling over job scam after job scam. They are everyplace.

My first encounter was a job that offered management training, no experience needed. What? I have never seen this before in my life. What kind of job wants managers that have never worked a day in their life? Or has absolutely no idea about the job? Curious as I am I fired off a résumé. Sure enough, they emailed me back with a Skype call appointment.  My second red flag. A Skype call? They claim to be in the same city, why on earth would I need to do a Skype call? I started to research the company online, just googled the name of the company. There was no official website like you would find for Wal-Mart or Ikea. The only links were of job search engines. There was no contact number, no address, and no way to get a hold of anyone or go to the office. This is BIG red flag three.

I decided that I would ask around about this as it just seemed wrong to me. I am sure with new technology there may be some new ways of conducting interviews, but Skype for a job in the same city is just wrong. Perhaps if I were applying for a job in another city, country, or perhaps someday different planet, a Skype call would be reasonable. The commute for a 30 min interview would be killer on the pocket-book. I asked a job placement agency that was legit, I went to the office itself, I also talked to the government job search section of our government building. I learned a lot about what scammers are doing, even physically harming people to get their money. So be don’t put private information on your résumé when sending online. I will talk more about what not to put on your online resume at the end of this post.

Scammers are getting people to pay money up front for a job or enrollment in a company, using whatever label they can to get you to pay. Pay for administration fees, or processing fees, or pay for membership or training fees. All CRAP! Don’t pay it, run away from any company that wants this. Unless you are buying into becoming your own boss, it’s not your cash that legitimate business get upfront. Apparently, people have been physically harmed. This is just insane, crazy beyond measure.

I once had a phone call scammer call me representing himself as a company that I won something. As I was talking to him I started to get those red flag feelings. He swore, he did not use proper sophisticated language, meaning too casual of speech for a proper business. He would ask me my postal code, address and I wouldn’t give it to him.  He seemed wrong so I called him on it. I told him that he did not sound like a legitimate HR personal, I then told him I think he is a scammer. Well I thought he swore a bit before, he could make a pirate blush now. I hung up on him, hoping that would be the end of it. Oh no, no, he was not done with me. He would call and tell me he will find me, he knew what city I lived in and said he was coming for me and my family. He was angry at me for exposing him for what he was, he chose that life so why? Why would anyone want to hurt others so much and find joy in it maybe, power? I would not give him that, I am perhaps stupid, but I will not satisfy such a ridiculous behaviour. I would just hang up on him. I called the police but as usual, they said until something happens they can’t do anything about it. Plus, being a call from overseas it is out of their jurisdiction. Jurisdiction? Don’t they join with other countries to stop these people? But I can make an official complaint. Typical, I had heard that when dealing with a violent ex-boyfriend stalker.

So this phone scammer called me at 2 am everyday for a month, I changed my phone number and it was peaceful for about two weeks and it started again. I changed my number again and complained to the phone company that they have a leak in the company and I made a huge deal of it. I have not heard from him since. I learned he knew my city simply by my phone number, since caller display is now available it is amazing what people can get from that. I did not have a Facebook account and was told that, that was probably what saved me a lot more problems. Since many people put way too much information on their Facebook accounts.

If a “you have won” phone call turns into this hassle what the heck happens when you are looking for work? You have no money because you are looking for work and they want your money? How does that make any sense? I think of Al Capone who employed men who were looking for work. What a nice guy hey? He helped the poor saps out by giving them work? But with strings attached. These guys don’t want to hire you, just fork over those food stamps buddy.

So when you are looking for work and you get those appointments for, Skype or phone interview before they are going to decide to bring you in, research the company before you talk to them. Are they legit, can you go to the office? If yes, do so. Check it out. Today we are our own Batman, or his butler that did a lot of the research for him. We are to become like spy’s sort of. We must do our own research on the company, gather intelligence. I have learned that a lot of them are posing as “marketing “companies. At least that’s where I am finding all of them. I mean seriously, I stumble on them a lot, why are the cops not “looking for work” and get them?

And then there is this one.  You get an email telling you to call the company and discuss opportunities. They did not state the job you applied, they did not really say much of anything, but give you a number. Problem here is when you call the company you are paying as though you dialed a 1900 number. Pay per minute on the phone, and they will make you stay on that phone as long as they can. If a legit company emails you they will say, thank you for applying for XYZ position and would like to set up an interview. Please meet at out office located at XYZ place at XYZ time on XYZ day. If at anytime the company you apply to is vague, it is a red flag.

I also urge you to go to your local job placement agency office building and talk to them about how to avoid job scams. If they don’t know what you are talking about try another place. I have met a few people who are blind to this and make many excuses, such as “that is not a real thing”. They are the ones that will be scammed down the road. I would not argue with them, just find someone who can guide you. Or even talk to the local police fraud department. Or do some more research online and gather intelligence on how to stay safe when looking for work.

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WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A JOB SCAM

Before you even apply for a job carefully read the advertised job. Trust your waving red flag feelings, if it seems off, it is. If is sounds strange, it is. Don’t trust the company that doesn’t give the company name, or any information on job details, is it vague? Also, I find a lot through so-called employment placement agencies that claim they are working on behalf of a “un-named” company. The so-called placement agency does not even exist outside that post you found it. A legitimate business will have a physical address you can go to, or even google map it to view the building if it states its headquarters are on a different province. (Thank you technology) If you google map it and you see an empty lot, or no such address or a house on a street, it’s not real.

Ask questions, legitimate companies are proud of their success and want to answer questions that a potential employee has about the great business they have.  Scammers are absent in the information, if you feel like they are avoiding or dismissing your questions, I suggest not perusing that “job” any further.

Research. Research. Research. I can’t emphasize this enough. As Dorothy says “We are not in Kansas anymore Toto”. It is a whole different world out there.  It will take you longer to search for jobs online, it sometimes takes me about three or four hours for one job, from researching the company to creating the targeted resume to sending it off.  Even then I am careful what is on my résumé. (more about this later) Just because a company name is on LinkedIn, or Facebook, or a job search engine like, ziprecruiter, monster. indeed, or any of the many, many others, it doesn’t mean it is real. It can still be fake! Look for the physical address, contact number, real company webpage, in the news? Look for company reviews from those scorned ex-employees. Also, I look at reviews that are a mix, if they are all perfect reviews, that seems fishy too about a company.  No one has a 100% employee satisfaction rate.

Trust your intuition. Many of us have learned to push down our intuition because we want to fit in, or not cause waves, or whatever the reason. I want you to trust your intuition, to allow it to guide you. If you feel uneasy about a job ad, let it pass, move on. I want you to be safe, happy, and find a good job. Or better yet, start your own! Whatever you decide, please follow your gut feelings.

 

WHAT NOT TO PUT ON YOUR RESUME, ESPECIALLY FOR ONLINE SUBMISSION

Don’t put on any personal information. Having said that a resume is filled with personal information. I mean the identifying type of information. Your physical or mailing address leave off. Just put your City or town name. You may or many not leave off your phone number. I have the employer contact me via email only. This is the easiest way to get a feel for the company if I am unsure before going forward. Unless I know without a shadow of doubt it is a legitimate company, then I will put in a phone number. If you have your media accounts linked to your resume, make sure your social media accounts do not have your personal identifying or locating address on it anyplace.  The scammers will scour the social media sites like a stalker to learn everything they can about you.

Job scams are something every job seeker needs to be aware of, but don’t lose hope. If you keep your wits about you, trust your instincts and follow these suggestions, I am sure you will be safer in your searching. I hope you find a great job for you, take care and be safe.

 

Have you had any experience with a job scammer you would like to share?

 

Today is my best day!

Today is my best day

Today I saw on a shirt these words and thought to myself what a great slogan. No matter what type of day you are having “Today is my best day” and make it that. These past few years have turned into a slump, after losing my job and forced to drop out of a course I wanted to take due to financial need I have been just going from one job to another looking for some way to make ends meet and the feeling like your running in a huge mud puddle and sinking. I believe that we have influences all around us in large or small ways, the milk spilled so now you are late for work does that mean you have to behave like a B to everyone? No not at all as you are just spreading your negative influence so when I see something that is a positive influence I try to embrace it into my day and week. We all have an abundant amount of negative influences and how we handle them is what sets us apart from others, are we better than those negative influences, I’m trying to be.  Today is my best day, if I take a step back and ponder this how profound it can be of a statement. I have had so few “best days” that I think I need to re-think how I look at myself. For example, just this week I was let go from work again, more lay-offs, having to look again for work is getting to be a full time job, really I should get paid for this. As well we had to use the food bank, my car needs new tires, and literally I can see the wires in the tires that is how bald they are. I can’t take a bus because there is no bus where I live, how stupid is that, the town has no bus going to the city that is only a 15 min drive, so one must have a car. My daughter is invited to a wedding and we have nothing to give or even a dress for her to wear. I have not been able to buy cloths in well over three years and am down to two pants and 4 shirts. I now have every sock with holes that have been re-sewn so many times that the sock is see through with only strands of thread holding together. I have sewed my cloths so many times that the patches and torn material is so thin no patch or thread is going to save it, my jeans are practically see through and now a single mom looking for work again. The job industry here is only hiring part timers because then they don’t have to offer benefits and they can offer a lower rate of pay as well. So when the “today is my best day” filled my head I have to admit first glance I thought “ya right!” but then I stopped stressing out and decided yes, today is my best day. I have a room over my families head to protect us from the cold wind and rain. I have food, small amount and not very healthy but it is what will keep us alive, we can eat. We do have cloths even though they are the holiest things I have ever owned but we are clothed. We have each other and that is good enough, I think I must stop focusing on the horizon and start learning to enjoy the walk through life.  Just like this quote:

If you’re going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill

So when I am down I just need to think of it as I am just passing through, not stopping or dwelling on anything just passing through. So today is my best day and so will tomorrow?

I want to pass on the inspiration, I do not know who make the shirt, if it is a famous quote or what it is but I want to pass on the inspiration to you to make today and every day your best day by looking at what you have and not what you do not have and be grateful for it.